Your brain wants from others what it refuses to give you

Your brain wants from others what it refuses to give you.

I was coaching a client whose mind is incredibly critical of her.

Constantly telling her:
You should be doing more.
This isn’t good enough.
You’re behind.

In the session, she said:

“I wish my husband would say to me…
You’re doing a lot.
Thank you for everything you’re doing.
You made a great meal.”

So I asked her:

“Have you ever said those things to yourself?”

She paused.

I continued

“When you cook dinner, what does your brain say?”

She laughed a little and said,
“It tells me it took too long… that I should’ve made something better… and questions whether it’s even good enough.”

And there it was.

Her brain was asking her husband to give her something it completely refused to give her.

It wanted appreciation without practicing appreciation internally.

The brain has a habit of outsourcing emotional needs.

It says:
“I’ll feel appreciated when someone else appreciates me.”
“I’ll feel worthy when someone else validates me.”
“I’ll feel good enough when someone else confirms it.”

But here’s the problem.

When your own brain is running a constant stream of criticism, even when appreciation comes from others it rarely lands.

Because the loudest voice in your life is the one in your own head.

The relationship you have with yourself creates the foundation for every other relationship in your life.

If your inner dialogue is harsh, demanding, and dismissive of your effort, your brain will constantly look outside for relief.

And that’s exhausting.

Coaching teaches you how to intentionally create thoughts that build internal support instead of internal pressure.

Imagine cooking dinner and your brain saying:

“Thank you for doing this for your family.”
“That was thoughtful.”
“You’re showing up.”

Simple, but powerful.

When my client saw this, the realization washed over her.

She saw that she had never practiced giving appreciation to herself.

If your mind is constantly critical and you want to build a healthier relationship with yourself, others and your goals, coaching can help you see what your brain is doing and change it.

I offer free consultations where we look at what your brain is currently creating and how to start shifting it.

Email [email protected]  to book your free consultation call.