“You Should Be Able to Figure It Out on Your Own”—The Biggest Lie Your Brain Tells You

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, I should be able to figure this out on my own? As if needing help is some kind of weakness?

But think about it—have we ever figured out anything truly important completely alone?

• We were born into families who taught us how to eat, speak, and exist in the world.
• Schools taught us how to read and write.
• Coaches and teammates taught us how to play sports.
• Even in adulthood, every job, skill, or craft we master is learned from someone else.

Yet, when it comes to navigating big life decisions—our purpose, career, relationships—our brain tells us, Don’t ask for help. You should be able to do this by yourself.

And so, we struggle alone. We get stuck. We either fail or get a mediocre result, when in reality, we could have thrived if we had just sought guidance.

Islamically, we are designed to be in community—to learn from others and to teach others. The Prophet ﷺ said:

“The believer to the believer is like a building, each part strengthening the other.”

And Allah commands us:

“So ask the people of knowledge if you do not know.” (Qur’an 16:43)

We were never meant to do life alone. Imagine how much further you’d go if you stopped believing the lie that you should figure it all out yourself and instead allowed yourself to seek the right help.

What’s something you’ve been trying to figure out alone that could change if you just asked for help?

Email me for a free consultation, and let’s see how much further you can go with the right support. You were never meant to figure it all out alone.

[email protected]

Salam 👋🏽, I’m Meha, a life & purpose coach focused on empowering Muslim women to live more fulfilled lives and achieve success on their own terms.