Wanting someone to take care of you

As I was coaching a client recently, we uncovered something important.

She wasn’t consciously thinking, “I want someone to rescue me.”
But her brain was adamant about one looping thought:

“Someone should take care of me.”

So we didn’t try to “positive-think” it away.
We didn’t shame it.
We got curious.

The next step in coaching is always this question:
Where did this thought come from and why is the brain clinging to it so hard?

What we found was abdication of responsibility.

Her brain had learned, over time, that outsourcing her emotional state felt safer.

        •       If she felt drained → someone else caused it
        •       If she felt overwhelmed → someone else should fix it
        •       If she felt stuck → someone else was responsible

This wasn’t about being alone in the world.
This was about being disempowered in her own life.

With her husband.
With her family.
With her kids.

She didn’t feel like an active agent, she felt like life was happening to her.

When you outsource your emotional state, you outsource your power.

A brain that believes “I can’t” will:

        •       Shut down problem-solving
        •       Default to passivity
        •       Loop helpless thoughts because they require less energy than ownership

Over time, that weakness feels like truth.

So the coaching wasn’t:
“You’re strong, just believe in yourself.”

The coaching was:
Step one: No one is responsible for your emotional state but you.

That’s not harsh.
That’s grounding.
That’s empowering.

Once she took responsibility for how she feels, everything else became possible.
Not overnight.
But finally possible.
We keep coaching week after week to build that strength, responsibility and possibility.

If you recognize yourself in this, feeling incapable, stuck, or quietly waiting for life to change, this is the work I do.

I’m offering free consultations to help you move from disempowerment to ownership, in a way that aligns with your values and your faith.

Email [email protected] to schedule your free consultation.