Trying a Little Is Not the Same as Trying a Lot

We tell ourselves, “At least I tried.” But did we really?

There’s a big difference between dipping a toe in the water and actually swimming 🏊

Sometimes we try just enough to say we did—so we can protect ourselves from disappointment. We make a half-hearted attempt, and when it doesn’t work, we think, “See? I knew it wouldn’t happen.” But was it a real attempt? Or was it just a way to shield ourselves from failure?

The truth is, trying a lot is terrifying.

I remember in law school, classmates would say things like, “Oh, I didn’t do well on that brief because I did it last minute,” or “I didn’t really prepare for my arguments—that’s why I did badly.” And I would always ask (the coach in me was always there 😂), “Why didn’t you? What were you doing instead?”

Every time, it was a mixed excuse cocktail: “I got tired. I went out with friends. I got distracted.”

One day, I told a friend the hard truth: “These are all things you’re doing because you’re scared. If you actually tried and still didn’t do well, it would feel like proof that you’re not good enough. So instead, you hold back—because then you can say, ‘It’s not me, it’s just that I didn’t try hard enough. If I really put in the effort, I would’ve gotten an A.’”

Yeah, but you already decided not to get the A. And you made sure you didn’t.

At the beginning of law school, I had a different mindset. I’ve been an A student my entire life, so I told myself, “I’m going to ignore what everyone says. This is just another phase of school. I’m older, I’m prepared, and it should be like any other academic challenge—not impossible to excel in.”

And so I gave law school 100%—just like I always had since elementary school all the way through undergrad.

I didn’t hold back to protect myself from disappointment. I went all in. And it paid off—I graduated Magna Cum Laude and did well every single year.

And now, as a business owner, I still give things my all. But sometimes, even when I try 100%, the results don’t turn out as expected. The difference now? Instead of retreating or making excuses, I sit down and evaluate everything. If I see that I truly didn’t hold back, I don’t feel disappointed—I feel proud. Because I know I’ve learned so much, and I’ve grown wiser just by giving my full effort.

“And that there is not for man except that [good] for which he strives, and that his effort is going to be seen.” (Qur’an 53:39-40)

Your effort matters. But only if it’s real effort.

So be honest with yourself—what’s something in your life that you say you’ve tried, but deep down, you know you haven’t given it your all?

Email me for a free consultation to see how you can manage fear and go all in and your goals 🚀

[email protected]

Salam 👋🏽, I’m Meha, a life & purpose coach focused on empowering Muslim women to live more fulfilled lives and achieve success on their own terms.