The fastest way to deal with sadness

Last night, we were watching a kids’ animated movie.

At the very end, when the characters were hugging and saying goodbye, my six-year-old’s eyes filled with tears.

Almost immediately, she got up.
Started walking around.
Tried to find a toy to distract herself.

“I’m not sad,” she said.
“I’m not crying.”

At six years old, her brain already knew what to do with discomfort:
avoid it.

This is the automatic response of the human brain.
When a negative emotion shows up, the brain’s instinct is to numb it, distract from it, or pretend it isn’t there because it thinks that’s the fastest way past the feeling.

But it’s actually the slowest.

When an emotion isn’t felt, it doesn’t disappear.
It lodges itself in the body.
It waits.
And then it shows up later as triggers, overreactions, emotional shutdown, or moments that feel out of control.

So I sat back down with her and coached her through it.

I told her:
It’s okay to feel this.
It’s just an emotion.
What you’re feeling is love.
And saying goodbye can feel sad.
Nothing dangerous is happening inside your body.

We stayed with it.
She felt it fully.
And then it released.

This is what most of us were never taught.

And unless we intentionally unlearn emotional avoidance, we grow up doing the exact same thing, just more subtly and with higher stakes.

Avoiding emotion feels productive, but it keeps you stuck.
Feeling emotion is what creates freedom.

If you notice yourself distracting, numbing, overthinking, or powering through instead of feeling, this work will change your life.

Because without the freedom of feeling your emotions fully you won’t be able to accomplish your goals in your personal and professional life.

You don’t need to be afraid of what you feel.
You just need support learning how to stay with it.

Email [email protected] to book your free consultation call.