Scared of money

“I don’t trust you with money.”

My client heard those words as a teenager. Not because her family was struggling financially. In fact, her parents were wealthy growing up. They decided as parents they paid for her clothes, school lunches, and necessities. But outside of the money she received for Eid and birthdays, she had very little access to money of her own. She couldn’t work because she was under 16 at the time so the money she did receive was expected to last the entire year for anything beyond basic needs.

As a child, she learned that money was scarce. As a teenager, she learned that she couldn’t be trusted with it. And as an adult she became afraid of money. Afraid to spend it or enjoy it and afraid it would disappear at any moment. Constantly checking, worrying and feeling unsafe no matter how much was in the bank account.

The amount of money in your account doesn’t create fear. The thoughts:
Money isn’t safe
I can’t trust myself with money
If I spend this, something bad will happen
➡️create fear.

And when we feel fear, we often create the very experience we’re trying to avoid by obsessing, restricting, overthinking, and never allowing ourselves to enjoy the resource we’ve worked so hard to earn.

The solution isn’t reckless spending. The solution is rebuilding trust that you can make wise decisions and can handle financial challenges if they arise, that money is a tool, not a threat.

Of course we should be responsible with money. Pay our bills, avoid debt, save for the future, give our zakat and sadaqah and plan wisely. But after those things are taken care of, many people still struggle to enjoy their money because they’re carrying childhood beliefs they never questioned.

Allah (SWT) says: “And do not make your hand [as] chained to your neck or extend it completely and [thereby] become blamed and insolvent.” (Qur’an 17:29) Don’t clench your hand tightly in fear holding on to money or open it all the way and throw it around carelessly. Be balanced.

Money is a neutral resource from Allah (SWT). It can help feed a family, support a cause, create opportunities, reduce hardship and bring enjoyment to our lives.

Being terrified of money is no more beneficial than being reckless with it. The goal is stewardship, not fear.

If you find yourself constantly worried about money its time to examine the beliefs you’re carrying. Because sometimes the biggest financial problem isn’t in your bank account. It’s in the story you’ve been telling yourself about money for years.

If you’d like help uncovering the beliefs that are keeping you stuck and building a healthier relationship with money, I’d love to help.

Email [email protected] to book your free consultation call.