Rock bottom

There are seasons in life when you feel like Prophet Yusuf (AS) at the bottom of the well.

Or like Prophet Yunus (AS) in the darkness of the whale.

Not just physically.

Mentally.

Spiritually.

Emotionally.

A client recently asked me, “What can I do to feel better?”

It’s such a human question. When we’re hurting, our brain immediately looks for an exit. A distraction. A solution. Someone to reassure us. Anything to make the pain stop.

But that urge for immediate relief often pulls us away from the very thing Allah is trying to teach us.

Sometimes the invitation isn’t to escape the darkness immediately.

It’s to become still enough to hear what Allah is showing you there.

Instead of asking, “How do I stop feeling this?”

Try asking, “Allah, what are You teaching me through this?”

One of the deepest emotions my client was experiencing was abandonment.

She felt left behind by people she loved.

So we explored a different question:

How can you not abandon yourself when you feel abandoned by others?

So often we do exactly what was done to us.

We stop caring for ourselves.
We disconnect from our own hearts.
We judge ourselves.
We wait for someone else to rescue us before we believe we’re worthy of love again.

But self-abandonment only multiplies the pain.

What would it look like to stay with yourself instead?

To comfort yourself and keep your commitments to yourself.

To be the person who never leaves your own side.

We also talked about loneliness.

There’s a difference between loneliness and solitude.

Loneliness says, “I’m missing someone.”

Solitude says, “I’m with Allah.”

One is the absence of people.

The other is the presence of Allah.

Many of us spend our lives trying to fill loneliness with people, attention, or validation.

But if your sense of peace depends on people never leaving, you’ll always live in fear.

Sometimes Allah allows us to experience empty spaces because He is gently redirecting our dependence.

Not away from people entirely.

But away from believing they are the source of our security.

People will disappoint you, leave, and change.

Allah never does.

The goal isn’t to never feel sadness.

The goal is to become someone who knows that even in the darkest well, even in the belly of the whale, you are never truly alone.

Don’t rush to feel better.

Stay present long enough to receive the lesson.

That’s exactly what brings the peace you were searching for all along.

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