Not doing what you should be doing?

Ever notice how sometimes you know what you “should” be doing but you just can’t seem to do it and you don’t know why?

I coached a woman recently who had been laid off. On paper, the next step was obvious: apply for jobs.

But her job search was sporadic.
A few applications here and there.
Nothing strategic. Nothing intentional.
And she couldn’t explain why she wasn’t going all in.

As we coached, the real reason surfaced.

Her mother-in-law was leaving.
Her own mother couldn’t come.
She’d have no help with her baby.
And she didn’t want to put her child in daycare.

Her brain already knew the truth, even before she did:

Getting a job = leaving my baby.

So her brain did what all brains do when they sense a threat to something deeply important:
It quietly shut the whole thing down.

Not laziness.
Not lack of motivation.
Just protection.

And when she saw that?
The tears came.

Her brain believed it was either work or her baby.
All-or-nothing thinking is very normal for the human brain but it’s rarely the full truth.

Once we questioned that assumption, everything changed.

We explored:
• Remote work
• ~25 flexible hours/week
• Deliverables-based roles
• One or two meetings max

Suddenly, the job search had clear criteria and it aligned with her actual goal: being present with her baby.

We also opened the door to options she hadn’t considered at all:
• Independent projects
• Alternative income streams
• Investments
• Creative work structures

There’s an Arabic saying:
الحاجة أم الاختراع
Necessity is the mother of invention.

Our circumstances don’t have to stop us,they can push us to get more creative than we ever thought possible.

This is what pushed me to end up as a coach. I was an attorney who knew I wasn’t fulfilled.
Then I had two kids under two and the idea of returning to full-time law, leaving them for work that didn’t light me up, felt unbearable.

So I worked with a coach and asked a deeper question: What do I actually want?

That’s when a path I had never considered appeared, coaching Muslim women.

Today, I coach full-time, my kids are in school, and my work fits around my life, not the other way around. It’s better than anything I could have imagined back then.

Sometimes the very thing causing the pain is the clue.

So if something in your life feels heavy right now, ask yourself: If all limitations were removed, what would I want in an ideal world?

Don’t worry about how yet. That’s your brain’s job after you get clear on the desire.

Once you know what you want, your brain will start offering solutions you never knew existed.

If you want help unraveling what’s really holding you back and designing a path that actually fits your life, I offer a free 1:1 consultation.

Email me to book your free consultation call 📞

[email protected]

Salam 👋🏽, I’m Meha, a life & purpose coach focused on empowering Muslim women to live more fulfilled lives and achieve success on their own terms.