Money Problems

One of the biggest stressors in marriages is money.

Yesterday, a client reached out for an emergency coaching session. She was extremely upset with her husband about spending.

In the heat of the moment, her brain had already decided the story:

He’s being cheap.
He thinks I spend too much.
This is unfair.
I need to get out of this marriage.

Before solving the problem, we coached through the emotional intensity first. Once her nervous system settled, we started looking at the situation more clearly.

I asked her a simple question:

“Have you and your husband actually sat down and gone through the numbers together?”

She said, “Yes, we talked about it. He told me we’re overspending.”

So I asked her to describe what that looked like.

Did you look at every bill?
“No.”

Do you know exactly how much he makes?
“Not really.”

Have you seen the income from the investment property he rents out?
“No.”

That’s when the truth became clear.

They hadn’t actually looked at the numbers.

They had talked about the numbers.

Those are two very different things.

So we made a simple plan.

Sit down together.
Create two columns.

Money coming in.
Money going out.

Pull out every bill. Every expense. Every source of income. Lay it all out clearly.

Because numbers don’t carry opinions.
Numbers don’t argue.
Numbers simply tell the truth.

Right now, she’s working part-time while raising three young children and running the household. She’s exhausted and wants to step away from the job.

But before making that decision, the family needs clarity:

Are they truly in the negative?
Or does it just feel that way?

The brain loves to create stories when there is missing data.

But decisions should be made from facts, not assumptions.

Once the numbers are clear, solutions become much easier:

Maybe she can leave the job.
Maybe they adjust spending.
Maybe they create a monthly amount for her personal spending so resentment doesn’t build.

But none of that can happen without transparency.

Clarity removes conflict.

If you’re feeling stuck in a situation where emotions and assumptions are running the show, coaching helps you slow down, separate facts from stories, and create a path forward.

Email [email protected] to book your free consultation call.